本文章由春喜在線英語(yǔ)于2017.12.19日編輯發(fā)布
這才是道歉的正確打開方式
Here's the Best Way to Apologize
你有沒(méi)有過(guò)做錯(cuò)了事,卻不知道該怎么道歉的窘迫?或者,明明道了歉,對(duì)方卻一點(diǎn)都不買賬?科學(xué)研究表明,正確有效的道歉應(yīng)該包含六個(gè)要素,快和小編一起來(lái)看看是哪六個(gè)吧~We've all been there — after you've given what seems to you like a heartfelt apology, the otherperson just doesn't buy it. Well, science is here to help: An effective apology has six keyelements, according to a new study.我們都有過(guò)這種經(jīng)歷——在你似乎真心誠(chéng)意地道過(guò)歉后,對(duì)方就是不買賬。那么,科學(xué)在這里派上了用場(chǎng):一項(xiàng)新研究表明,一次有效的道歉包含六個(gè)關(guān)鍵要素。Researchers found that six things increase the effectiveness of an apology: an expression ofregret, an explanation of what went wrong, an acknowledgement of responsibility, adeclaration of repentance, an offer of repair and a request for forgiveness.研究者發(fā)現(xiàn):六種要素會(huì)增強(qiáng)道歉的效力:表達(dá)歉意、解釋錯(cuò)在哪里、承擔(dān)責(zé)任、表明悔改之心、提出補(bǔ)救措施并請(qǐng)求對(duì)方的原諒。"Apologies really do work, but you should make sure you hit as many of the six key elementsas possible," Roy Lewicki, the lead author of the study and a professor emeritus ofmanagement and human resources at The Ohio State University, said in a statement.“道歉確實(shí)有用,但你應(yīng)該確保你的道歉中盡可能多地包含這六種要素,”羅伊·勒維克,這份研究的第一作者、俄亥俄州立大學(xué)管理與人力資源名譽(yù)教授在一份聲明中如是說(shuō)道。That said — in case you don't have time to work in all six — the researchers also found thatseveral of the elements carried more weight than others, according to the study, publishedTuesday (April 12) in the journal Negotiation and Conflict Management Research.
即便如此,這份4月12日發(fā)表在《協(xié)商與沖突管理研究》雜志上的研究表明,研究者發(fā)現(xiàn),萬(wàn)一你沒(méi)有時(shí)間準(zhǔn)備好這六種要素,有幾個(gè)比其它的更加重要。"Our findings show that the most important component [of an apology] is an acknowledgementof responsibility," Lewicki said. "Say it is your fault, that you made a mistake," he said.“我們的發(fā)現(xiàn)表明(道歉)最重要的要素是承擔(dān)責(zé)任,”勒維克說(shuō)。“就說(shuō)是你的錯(cuò),你犯了個(gè)錯(cuò)誤,”他說(shuō)。The second most effective element is the offer to repair the wrong that was done, according tothe study. This assures the person you are apologizing to that "you're committing to takeaction to undo the damage," Lewicki said.這份研究還表明,第二個(gè)最有效的要素是主動(dòng)提出彌補(bǔ)過(guò)錯(cuò)。這會(huì)讓你所道歉的對(duì)象相信,“你承諾會(huì)采取措施彌補(bǔ)損失,” 勒維克說(shuō)。The least important aspect, on the other hand, was the request for forgiveness, theresearchers found.另一方面,研究者發(fā)現(xiàn),最不重要的方面就是請(qǐng)求原諒。In the study, the researchers conducted two separate experiments with a total of 755 people.在這份研究中,研究者做了兩個(gè)獨(dú)立的實(shí)驗(yàn),共有755人參與。
In the first experiment, 333 adults read an apology that contained either one, three or all six ofthe apology elements, and rated how effective, credible and adequate they considered theapology to be. They were informed beforehand how many apology elements were included inthe apology they were reading, according to the study.
在第一個(gè)實(shí)驗(yàn)中,有333個(gè)成年人讀了一封道歉信,信里包含了四個(gè)因素中的一個(gè)、三個(gè)或六個(gè),然后評(píng)出道歉信的有效性、可信性和誠(chéng)意度。該實(shí)驗(yàn)中,參與者在讀信前已經(jīng)被事先告知了道歉信中包含的因素個(gè)數(shù)。In the second experiment, 422 college students were asked to read an apology that includedanywhere from one to all six of the apology elements, and then they were asked to rate theapology. In this experiment, however, the participants weren't told how many elements wouldbe included in the apology.在第二個(gè)試驗(yàn)中,422名大學(xué)生被請(qǐng)來(lái)讀一封道歉信,信中可能包含六個(gè)道歉要素中的一個(gè)、兩個(gè)、三個(gè)、四個(gè)、五個(gè)或六個(gè),然后這些大學(xué)生需要給道歉信評(píng)分。然而,在這個(gè)實(shí)驗(yàn)中,參與者事先并不知道道歉信中包含多少個(gè)因素。
In both experiments, the researchers found that the more elements the apology contained, themore effective it was rated.在兩個(gè)試驗(yàn)中,研究者都發(fā)現(xiàn),道歉信中包含的因素越多,道歉信越有效。One caveat that the researchers noted, however, is that in the study, the participants weremerely reading apologies, not hearing them in person.但是,研究者做出的一個(gè)說(shuō)明是,在研究中,參與者只是在讀道歉信,而沒(méi)有親耳聽到道歉。
"Clearly, things like eye contact and appropriate expression of sincerity are important whenyou give a face-to-face apology," Lewicki said.
“顯然,當(dāng)你在面對(duì)面地道歉時(shí),眼神交流和適當(dāng)?shù)乇磉_(dá)誠(chéng)意是很重要的。” 勒維克說(shuō)。